CSI

We interrupt the purpose and focus of this blog to discuss CSI NY. Lucy's auntie Jen thought the finale was excellent.

I will try to relate CSI NY to my daughter Lucy:

C - is for how CUTE Lucy is
S - is for how SUPER SWEET she is
I - is for how INTELLIGENT she is

N - is for "NO and NEVER" her favorite words
Y - is for "yaaaarrrrr" her Pirate word

Trike

Lucy got a new trike for her birthday. It was a part of a super secret project her aunt Jen was working on. I was dying to peek in the shed but I did not. Jen was unhappy with the childish selection of toddler vehicles in today's marketplace. Her unhappiness led to research and finally the discovery of spray paint that adheres to plastic. The discovery led to the maniuplation of a childish trike into the ultra - cool South Minneapolis "trike to be seen in". I swiped this photo from Jen's blog.

On Mother's Day ... and her birthday time

While it's true that rarely a day passes when my thoughts don't wander to Ethiopia and to Lucy's birthfamily the thoughts and feelings are much more pronounced this time of year. Funny that I am experiencing "2nds" with Lucy now! Wow, around this time of year I think of her birth mom and wonder what she's feeling ... and I am pushing my thoughts as hard as I can, hoping that she catches some feeling in the atmosphere that Lucy is ok, no that Lucy is great. After my post awhile back regarding the feeling I get from Lucy sometimes that she is acting of feelings of past-trauma ... someone recommended a book called The Primal Wound (or something similar). I have been devouring that book in little bits and pieces. It's like I had a feeling and then someone wrote a book about it, only the book came first. I can only read about one chapter a day. It's emotionally hard to read. I am looking forward to the "how can I help" chapter (I hope there is one).

Well ... I myself plan on celebrating Mother's Day tomorrow and everyday. I LOVE being a mother, especially Lucy's mother! It's a magnificant gift having her in my life and as a single mom of a toddler ... she is the only gift I expect to get tomorrow.

Speaking of special mother's days ... I talked to Mel (who is in Ethiopia right now). She met Morgan on Saturday morning. She reports that he is beautiful, cute cute cute and teeny tiny.

Life with the boys ...

This post is dedicated to Isaac and Nathan. They are the brothers that Lucy might never have! The three of them are the best of friends and the worst of friends. What started out as a semi-love affair between Nathan and Lucy has turned into a pretty sour case of sibling rivalry. We (Lucy and I) are head over heels in love with these guys. These two know how to live life! They put 100% into everything they do and into every emotion they emote. Lucy usually sleeps well after an evening of keeping up with her friends. In the past two weeks Lucy has learned a powerful new word from the boys. Now that she is two years old, a simple negative "NO" is not enough ... now, like the boys, her "no" is almost always followed by "NEVER" (or rather "NEVAHHHHH" Thanks guys!

Good news all around!

Well ... had to share. As I type, Mel and her mom and brother are in the air, over the ocean heading toward baby Morgan. They'll be landing in the next 10ish hours, it'll be Saturday morning and they will meet Morgan!!!!! The other astonshingly surprising and most wonderful news EVER is that Sherry is bringing Hana home!!!! Her visa waiver was granted in record time. This is the way it SHOULD be. OHHH joy oh joy. In a little over a week Lucy will have two new friends. I can't wait. OH I wish I was in Ethiopia right now. Lucy and I have the blessing of a extra long weekend together. Childcare for today (Friday) and Monday fell through so we get time together. This morning was so nice and laid back. Can you believe I said laid back with a two year old, it's true. We had a longish trip to the grocery store with not one single frustrating episode, it's like Lucy turned 7 over night. After nap I suppose I should reward her with a trip to a park to let off some 2 year old energy.

i have adorable photos to post. Hopefully after bedtime tonight.

Lucy LOVES her cake

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Birthday Girl

Well Lucy turns two on Monday. Two. She's been practicing really hard and she'll be a great two year old. Lucy has mastered so much over the past year. Last year, on her birthday ... she crawled for the first "real" time. Three months later she was up and walking. These days she runs, climbs, and jumps. Her grasp of the spoken word is increasing daily. She still loves music. She can sing songs and dance like there's no tomorrow. The girl loves to dance. She makes up her own moves but also copies moves she sees. She still loves the cats but has recently started adoring Sassy. Our live together has settled a bit. We have had a good solid month of relatively good health. She is staying awake longer in the evenings so we have lots of play time and together time after work/daycare. Lucy loves her family and friends. When we turn a certain corner on the way to Isaac and Nathan's house she shouts "yah ... Isaac!." She's a fighter. I hope that her first line of defense (hitting and pinching) tapers off this year as she starts becoming more at one with her words. At least my girl is not a push-over. We spent our last night as a one-year old at the Global Market, dancing to some gospely type music. Lucy had the dance floor all to her self and was entertaining the crowd with her very cool moves. She also took her "breaks" by laying down on the middle of the dance floor. OH and during the song that was dedicated to her (I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way)... that's when Lucy decided to practice being two years old. I actually think it was during the refrain (Let the Children's laughter remind us how we used to be), that I took Lucy kicking and screaming off of the stage (she climbed up for the millionth time). It can't all be easy! The photos are from last year at this time and one from the other day.

sleeping

I really believe that trauma in infancy is recorded. I believe that Lucy was traumatized as an infant, and that the stress of her placement ... her time in the orphanage ... and the stress of transitioning to her new family in a new environment will be something that she carries in her body and brain for life. I don't think she'll be a "victim" of this ... I just believe that as she goes through ages and stages, her grief might come out in different ways then a child who has not experienced these challenges. She was sick as a baby in the orphanage, and sick once again as a baby just a few days after she came home with me ... sick a lot the first year and a half. I think her body was reacting normally in many ways to the germs etc BUT I also think the early stresses on her emotional self caused her physical self to have less of a "fight" left.... don't get me wrong, she's a STRONG resilient girl and she has a brilliant future ahead of her one in which she will use her power to fight all sorts of battles. I saw in her eyes in the moments coming out of surgery the same fear and confusion as I saw in her referral photos. It's a wonderful gift to know your child and to feel that her fears and reactions are mostly normal for her age but sometimes there is a twist that speaks to "working out" some past hurt. My friend S picked up this sense that Lucy has a "deeper self" then we know while looking at a photo of her from Ethiopia ... a wise baby. I believe that Lucy and S have a strong spiritual connection, for one obvious reason (that they share opposite ends of an adoption experience) but also for reasons that we don't fully know the why ... we just know the is ... I hope that Lucy has many many strong people in her life like S, to help her and guide her through her many life stages.

here are some sleeping photos of my sweet girl.

May!!!!!

My baby will turn two in one short week. Ack, where does the time go? You would think with all of the awake time she's had in the past few weeks that it would seem like the time would slow down. It's sad but true, time is relentless (unless you're WAITING for your baby, then it's slower then molasses in January). Soon I will have a very long 2nd year montage to post. We are loving the heck out of spring. We go outside every chance we get. The other day I looked at Lucy and said "I love you" and she said "a bushel and a peck". I know the song but have no clue what "a bushel and a peck" means ... if anyone knows please share.

Tantrums

Had to share the photo of Lucy's "i don't wanna" pose. This position is very effective as somehow she seems to gain about 20 pounds or gravity increases. She's a girl who knows what she wants and what time she wants it! We had such a fun day today. We went to the zoo in the morning and walked the outdoor trails. We saw about one animal ... mostly Lucy was interested in sitting on all of the sidewalk ledges. It took us about two hours to go maybe 3 blocks. Part of this time was spent with her laying on the ground face down for no real reason. I was trying to go at her pace but honestly I couldn't take it for very long ... in reality if we went at her pace we would still probably be at the automatic doors at the entrance to the zoo THOSE were way more exciting then the tiger or the baby camels. My friend S is about to leave for Ethiopia to meet her daughter. Hopefully the impossible will become possible and she'll actually get to bring her daughter home on this trip.

When adoption is so freaking exciting you can't even think straight

FINALLY .... Mel (see her blog link) has a travel date!!!!!!!! Excitement abounds and joy fills the formerly anxious air. What a wonderful wonderful way to start the weekend. The beautiful Morgan will be in his momma's arms by mother's day!!!!!!!!!

She's a big kid now

Lucy's officially big. She's sleeping in her big girl bed. Tonight will be the third night. The crib is gone. Sad ... I find myself a little worried that if she had the will she could wander through the house at night. Fortunately her door is sticky and she'd have to be real mad to force it open, and I would hear her through the monitor if it got to that point. Lucy is also quite the singer. Almost anyone off the street can easily pick up what she is singing by the tune alone (the words are a bit off), it's adorable to hear her sing. She definately has her idea of what is a good song and what is a bad song, right now the CD in the car only has 3 good songs: track 1, track 10 and track 11 ... sometimes she will tolerate about 1/2 of track 12. Thankfully one of the songs she hates is the banana phone song ... "my cellular bananular phoooonnnneee"! Tonight at the park I learned (from another mother) a new form of "disipline" ... while I tend to explain, distract, time-out and occasionally yell (though this induces tremendous amounts of guilt) this mother just looks point-plank at her 1 yr old daughter (who was throwing a fit upon being removed from the swing) and says "stop it or I'll call the police and you'll go to jail". Amazingly the baby stopped. Hmmmmmmmmmm ....

Urban wildlife

Yes I posted a photo of a bat and some ducks on my blog. You see the park in the heart of Minneapolis was host to more then a bunch of wild kids. This bat was hanging below a bench by the toddler park. A BENCH. Where people sit!!! I am glad that my kid does not allow me to sit at a park. The ducks were too busy fighting to notice that they had drifted within reach of many rowdy kids. The kid ... well, she's wild but adorable! Here she is in her first sleeveless appearance of the spring ... it's a good look on her. Tonight is her first night in her big girl bed .. pray we all sleep.

she met her match

Little Bully Lucy finally had her day in court. Arrrgghhh this is probably one of the more stressful parts of parenting. My child is communicating through hits, pinches, kicks and bites. Nothing I have tried has worked, I admit I've only tried a few things: ignoring, redirecting and time out. After a morning of bullying her FRIEND, Lucy met her match at a city park. I saw the look in her eye as a similar age girl came into her "territory". Lucy walked up to the toddler with her chest puffed out, and instead of cowering away the girl puffed her chest up and pushed Lucy. The girls momma came running. I said "i don't mind if you don't mind, this one [lucy] just might understand the other side". This momma said her child is the biggest bully, I said "I'm not so sure". We watched the girls work it out. It went well. I think Lucy understood the power behind the the other toddlers equally fearless positioning. Once the girls were on an understanding I was able to sit down with the other momma. She asked me if Lucy was from Ethiopia and I said yes and it turns out her daughter is from Russia. They are two months apart in age. Lucy came home at 5 months and equally powerful toddler came home at 15 months. It was another single mom. Apparently her toddler has bullied enough in her daycare to warrant the teachers asking mom to talk to the doctor about it ... well Lucy hasn't had that ... but she does go to daycare in "the hood" and I think some of her behavior is learned, let's just say she doesn't stand out in a crowd (behaviouly) in her daycare. The other mom and I laughed about it all for about 1.4 seconds before Lucy ran off south towards open water and equally powerful toddler ran off north toward oncoming traffic. We'll probably never cross paths again unless our kids end up in juvie together.

Little Lady

Lucy is quite the young lady these days. When we leave the house she usually has to grab two things. Sometimes they are very random. Last night we went for a walk and she grabbed a kitchen washcloth and her I Love Lucy purse and out the door she went. It was very cute with her purse on her shoulder (I don't even carry a purse). Auntie Jen returned from her cruise with two adorable outfits for the little Bahama Momma ... This one she was able to wear in two separate ways, she's very creative!

When adoption is so hard you can't think straight

my friend mel from adopting morgan (see my links I love) just received news that her son's case did not make it through court. She has already waited nearly three months for a travel date and has already seen families who received referrals a month after her get through court and get travel dates. Now Morgan doesn't go through court again for a couple weeks. This is unbelievably hard for her (and Morgan). I realize other have had longer more heartbreaking waits (like those occurring in Guatemala) but this is hard. Adoption can be so hard because so much of the process is out of your control (after having gone through piles of very controlled paperwork). For people who think adoption is as simple as getting on an airplane please hear this: IT"S NOT!!!! When your child is thousands and thousands of miles away and a glitch in a system is keeping her/him in an orpanage longer then necessary ... it's hard. When you can do nothing but sit back and wait for the next thing to happen ... it's hard. When your child is growing up and you can't be there ... it's hard. Dear Mel ... it'll happen, and I am sure you're sick of people telling you to hang in there ... but hang in there. It'll happen. He'll come home and be a happy healthy boy.

hair snaps

I did her hair in small braids and snaps. It went fairly well. The procedure only required one small bag of "hop hops" aka gummies and one viewing of Melmo (aka The Sesame Street All Star Alphabet). I didn't get the way back done because after a point she would, in frustration, yank out one braid for every two I was adding ... I was worried she'd catch up and we'd end up with nothing but a "hop hoped" up kid and a bunch of white snaps laying all over the place.

just photos

Spring for real???

Well, hopefully we have seen the end of snow. Today was a warm and sunny day ... perfect for time outdoors. Lucy has me running scared that she is about to get sick again. First clue was the very random, very dramatic crying she did in the car this afternoon. It wasn't normal for her, not the frustrated cry, not the "I dropped Elmo" cry. I was scared to put her down for a nap expecting the worst. She woke up fine. Relief. We spent the afternoon/evening playing outdoors (see above photo). She was so funny, running around in her new shoes (see photo). She would scream hi to people, and sometimes start jabbering things at them (I am not sure I want to know what she was saying). She almost seemed relieved each time she would spot another human (my dog is the same way when she sees another dog). In the car on the way home she was singing. It was so cute, she would either jabber out the song (to the tune) or she would shout out the last word of the line. For example: Down by the BAY. Where the watermelon GROWS." etc. She knew words to songs that we rarely ever listen to. She's a genius, a musical genius. We get home from this fun evening and the little stinker is running a fever. Acting just fine, but running a fever. It's been exactly one week since the last fever. Does anyone know anything about kids that are ALWAYS sick???? Please tell me there is a problem that is right in front of my face that I just can't see. I am trying not to get too worked up. I am trying to have hope that she'll wake up fine and that maybe the fever was just from her playing so hard and singing so well.

The sunny sun sun ... and a bubble

talk about joy!!! Lucy loves a wild ride on the swing!

Especially with "Melmo"

A girl and her Melmo ... what a cute sight!

Chasing a bubble (trying to eat a bubble)

Hopping down the bunny trail...

Lucy is mostly recovered from the fever in the last post. It's been popping up here and there (the fever) and it's a little odd but nothing else seems to be happening. We went to Bemidji a day late. Lucy did pretty well on the 4 1/2 trip up, despite the fact that she maybe slept for a total of 10 minutes the whole time. I was a little scared as we used up my tricks about 1 hour into the trip. The way back was a nightmare in a way. We left at 6 pm, and I was HOPING she'd stay awake until at least 7 pm. Well, I needn't have worried. Despite complete darkness and insanly boring lullaby's she stayed awake until we were about to exit the freeway to our home. She stayed awake until 10:45pm, almost three hours past her bedtime. I was a FREAK. It was definately a moment that I was frustrated and annoyed by my perfect child. I mean, who stays awake through that if they don't have to???? Well ... anyway we had a good time in Bemidji. Lucy fit right into the M-T family. She had two big sisters, one she felt was small enough to push around (not nice Lucy) the other was the one she wanted to follow around. Today (Easter) started out at 4:30 in the morning with two cops knock knock knocking on our door (or ringing the doorbell ... i dont'remember it was 4:30 a.m.). Lucy slept through the bell/knock and the dog bark. The cops were here to inform that the car had been hit once again parked out on the street. Not a fun moment. Hit and run ... Ummm and once again, public safety officials on the doorstep with me in my not so attractive pj's. Back to Lucy ... the real day started with grandma, grandpa and great-aunt Barb joining us for a walk through Mall of America's indoor amusement park. Lucy in her cute Easter dress/bonnet. We then joined auntie Jen for brunch at home ... and Lucy went down for a short nap. This afternoon Lucy and I went to some old friends for dinner and an Easter egg hunt fun fun fun.

Spoke to darn soon....

Last night when I posted that "Lucy was feeling grreeeeeeaaaaattt", I guess what I meant was, "Lucy is feeling like she's going to wake up with another high fever". Once again we have casa de sicko. Damn. Sorry the swearing had to happen. This is getting so so frustrating. She's still being a good sport about it ... definately not me, I am not being a good sport. We are supposed to be in Sunny Warm Bemidji ... frolicking on the sandy beach (or at least hanging out in the living room in our sweatshirts). Well ... let's hope this sickness is short.

Roadtripping with Melmo

Tomorrow Lucy and I leave on our spring break adventure. I have decided it's a good idea to spend spring break in an area with weather more cold then Minneapolis MN. My theory is that it makes it less depressing to go back to work on Monday if I am not leaving a sunny, warm beach to do so. This explains why two years ago I spent spring break in Fargo, ND .. holed up in a hotel room with one or two children (not my own). This year we are going to good ole' Bemidji. We will be staying with friends of ours who have 3 beautiful daughters. Only 2 daughters are home at this point, so we'll be toasting to whoever in the world (or out of the world) might have the power to get the US government officials up and working to get daughter 3 home. Lucy has been feeling grrrreeeeaaat these past few days. She has developed a true love for Elmo "Melmo". This is a sneaky sesame street phenomenon. For a long time we have been watching a Sesame Street DVD, the ABC's. She has enjoyed the video and would love to watch it every hour of every day, but it wasn't until last week that she decided to join the ranks of toddlers everywhere and declare her undying love for cute Melmo. Today I bought her a little stuffed Melmo ... she held it through the store, and hasn't let go of it since ... she held it through dinner, through getting into PJ's and through going night night ... Melmo's head is soaking wet because she is chewing on his big bulging eyeball. Ahhhh Melmo ... thanks for making her happy. Stay tuned, I'll hopefully post new photos tomorrow morning.