Lucy can be a real challenge. Some days I am so tired that I am begging the minutes to go by for bedtime to come. There are days when she is defiant about every single thing. She hits, she spits, she threatens, she calls me "bad momma". NOTHING seems to sway her from this behavior once she starts rolling down that naughty track. I BEG someone to give me some easy advice on what I can do that is transferable to being out and about and that work especially work the nights when I have three other kids to watch.
I am tired tonight. I need this stage over with ... I need to quit worrying that this is going to carry over into a monsterous teenagehood.
8 comments:
Stacy,
I really feel for you. Martee is still at the "cute" stage, but I definately feel us heading down a similar path. It's so hard when your kid is hitting you (or others) and you know that people are watching to see how you are going to react. Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I do have an inkling of how you feel.
Paula
Jacob has gone through similar phases. I have used a lot of timeouts, getting down to his eye level and telling him that I will not tolerate him being mean to me or hitting, etc. Overall, I try to just be very consistent and not tolerate it. It isn't always easy but it is the best I can do. I am sure Lucy will grow out of it if you continue to work with her. It is very frustrating and exhausting.
Have you read the parenting book
1,2,3 Magic?
Lots of good ideas in that book.
The BEST advice I have ever received from another mom is this, "Remember, this will pass." I even wrote it on my chalk board in my kitchen during a hard toddler stage. The stage passed...now on to other crazy and sometimes very difficult stages. But they too will pass. Of course I agree with being consistent, setting guidelines, time-outs (even in public), etc. But, sometimes it is more psychological and it helps to take a deep breath and just tell yourself that it will get better and that you are a good mother.
my dear, you are a great Mom, take it from one that knows.
oy... how frustrating. my only advice is to try really hard not to take it personally. you are an incredible momma!
when my kids are out of control (whether that be with whining, crying, or hitting) they have to go sit on our bottom step until they are done with whatever behaviour earned them the right to sit there. it's not exactly a "time out" because they are allowed to get up as soon as they start acting like normal human beings again. it gives them the power to decide how they want to act, and so far it seems to be working. but i'm really really consistent about it.
good luck.
Stacy,
first I have to say, that I think you are a phenomanal mom! Lucy is just testing every boundary, because you have them.
My first three where a breeze, in terms of acting out and tantrums, compared to my little Emma!
She was the first one to have me asking the ped. for advice... He gave me the 1 2 3 magic book...and it took a little tweeking...but it really has worked for her.
My Emma is so stubborn and fiesty that she really tests every line possible...
but once she got that I would always "win" the fighting match, she slowly started to act out less..
It's a really difficult time, and for you it must be a hundred times worse...I can remember days when my husband would come home from work and I would just leave for 15 min. to drive around and regain my sanity...
Good Luck!
P.S. I think you're an awesome MOM!
Jessica
Stacy,
I'm parenting one child diagnosed w/ ODD & another that likely has it, but is so far undiagnosed. Here are some tips I use:
give choices, ie, you can eat while sitting or while standing.
anticipate and give permission (aka call their bluff): ie, say she regularly throws a fit about xyz. Before xyz, say something like, "L, you usually throw a fit about xyz, so why don't you go ahead and start now." or "You usually throw a fit about xyz, and we have time now, so why don't you get that done."
I'll see if I can think of anything else.
Angela :-)
Post a Comment