Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Words of advice ...

Just some things I have learned a long the way ...

1. If you run scared out of your child's bedroom when you think you see her/him pick up a HUGE GINORMOUS spider (to save yourself) while leaving your little child alone holding said spider you WILL feel like a craptastical mother. Then you'll feel stupid when you realize it was just a big sparkly gemmy thingy.

2. If you run scared out of your child's bedroom in the middle of the night because your child looks up at the ceiling, points and says "Doo Doo is right there momma", you will feel like a craptastical mother and it might not be good for the whole attachment thing. I can't help it I am scared of ghosts and spiders.

3. If you have hidden a "strike anywhere" match in your pants pocket, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT stick your hand in your pocket and fiddle with the match. They were not S*ITTING when they advertise "strike anywhere".

4. If your mom spends one night a week sleeping at your house and she happens to be be a sleep talker, don't freak out and hide under the covers when you hear her yell (in the middle of the night) "HEY there's a man out there".

I think the aforementioned situations make me realize that maybe I am not "head of the household" material. It also demonstrates my genetically predisposed "play dead in frightening situations" survival method. I am sorry Lucy, I promise if something was really getting you, I'll be there to protect you ... but sheesh if you could quit seeing that dang DOO DOO ghost I'd appreciate it, that's a little freaky.

8 comments:

Christina said...

LOL Thanks for the laugh! I hate spiders, too, for what it's worth.

Mama Sweet Pea said...

I think you can chalk it up to Diet Coke withdrawl!!

cathy said...

Thanks for the laugh. This craptastical mom really needed it. You rock.

Malia'sMama said...

:) I am sure that soon Lucy will protect YOU!

The Walker's said...

Isn't it funny how kids are not afraid of the small things that scare us to death when we get older.

Diane said...

Maybe your issues could be resolved by carrying a pen light (vs strike anywhere) in your pocket.

That being said, you should've warned me about the sparkly spiders before I invited myself to your house.

Dani said...

HAHAHAHA! Sorry for laughing! And actually about the spider, I would be right behind you!

Sarah :) said...

You totally crack me up, Stacy! Hilarious!