We go to 'Opia camp and see Wendim OK?

So Lucy must have mentioned Wendim about 1,244 times today. We see Wendim today? Today momma, at 'Opia camp? "No Lucy, we go to camp tomorrow" ... OK momma, we see Wendim tomorrow.

Sheesh. She is excited to play in the dirt with Wendim and she can't WAIT!

YUP we are off again, heading to the far east coast of Wisconsin. We are going to see some old friends (like Wendim) and meet some new friends. We are going to get steamed up in 90 degree weather and a tent ... and cool off in a lake. We are going to eat sandwich meat and crackers for three days. I am hoping and yes praying that there is some sort of coffee place near by as I am bringing no coffee making equipment and I KNOW I can't wait for the coffee ceremonies, I'll need at least 20 ounces before that's even supposed to start. It is not beneath me to grab my kid and hike to the car, drive off and buy a coffee then drive back and sneak into the tent and pretend we've been roughing it. In fact, if this coffee place that I pray exists also has food AND airconditioning ... well, we just might get caught up in the moment and return to camp just in time for the coffee ceremony (just saying). I am also packing an aero bed with some soft bamboo sheets, a feather pillow and a comforter. Lucy has a nice sleeping bag and a yoga mat (she'll end up rolling all over the tent until she's balled up in a corner anyway ... wiggle worm.

So we'll report back with some fresh photos on Sunday or Monday. Hope you all have a good weekend.

shhhhhh don't tell Lucy

Well today I cheated on my kid. I felt a little guilty about it. I am on vacation this week and not relaxing at all! I had the boys on Monday and Wednesday and Morgan on Tuesday. Still it's WAY better then working all day. Today I put Lucy in daycare and then proceeded to pick Nathan and Jacob up, and babysat them all day. Really I did it (put Lucy in daycare) because 1. she can be so darn hard on those boys, 2. she needs the stability or drop off gets really hard and 3. I felt that Nathan needed a special day out because he's missing his brother Isaac who has been off at camp with their mom during the week. After picking up Nathan and Jacob we headed for the train station. We rode the train down town (Nathan was so excited), where Nathan exclaimed at every "train station" ... "oh my goodness this station is just soooooo precious". Jacob seemed to enjoy climbing, chewing on things and clapping his hands, he also gave me a hug today which was so sweet. We went to the library (not a hit), stopped to watch the window cleaners climb up the tallest building in Mpls, went into that building and watched a water fountain, ran around a water fountain, ate lunch at Mcdonalds and then took the train back home. After Jacob woke up we went to pick Lucy up from daycare, she was so happy and surprised to see her friends. We had fun swimming together and Isaac even joined us for a post-camp cool down. Lucy seemed oblivious to the obvious mommy cheat that had happened during the day but this momma had fun letting Nathan be king for the day. Lucy and I had a nice quiet evening together and even managed to make it through a hair do with no complaining!!!!

Waiting ...

A little reflective posting here ... I know several people who are waiting waiting waiting to travel to their child. I feel their pain so well, I remember it so well that thinking about it can easily bring back pangs of anxiety, fear and helplessness. Certain parts of this process are so out of our control and it's hard, it's hard to sit back while your child waits another day, week, month, season to be in your arms. It's hard when your know your baby is sick. It's hard knowing that you are RIGHT HERE waiting to give full attention to your babe.
so my waiting friends, i have no words of wisdom to offer you, you've been there before, waiting to travel and knowing it'll happen when it happens is of no comfort to you. I'll try to hold on to time here in Minnesota (they grow too fast) and speed up time to those west and southwest of here (and wherever you wait).
and it must be said ... the pain of the wait is sure a pain I would love to feel again.

Here's a photo I received while waiting ... from July 9 until October 24 ... This is the photo that got my anxiety all up ... see her sunk in eyes ... she wasn't doing well here. The report was terrifying and she was so far over there and I was so far over here and there was nothing I could do but wait ... wait ... wait ...

Date Night

Lucy and I went out on a date tonight. We got started a little late because Lucy was on the fence about going due to the "we can't go until you get your hair done" stipulation. Finally she took the leap and sat in her chair to have her hair done. Before you know it, we changed into our going out clothes and headed for the car.

First stop was the "hopper" ride.

Lucy is the smallest kid on this ride and she loves the thrill of it, she's pretty fearles.

Then we had to stop for some "polka dots" ice cream.

A quick stop for a cheesy smile.

Since we had three points left on our pass, Lucy decided to go on one more ride.

We had such a fun time together. Lucy is growing up so fast. It's amazing to be able to head out the door with just Lucy and my purse.

How I know I am old ...

First a disclaimer. Tom Petty ROCKED really hard! He hit every song I needed him to except one ... but still, sitting in the crowded arena it started dawning on me, slowly, ever so painfully slowly ... I am freakn' old.

Here's how I know ...

1. two martinis and I was "altered"

2. started pondering if they sell ear plugs

3. wanted the girls ahead of me to "just sit down and enjoy the show"

4. wanted to warn the boys in front of me that "too much pot can really damage your brain" I mean, seriously guys ...

5. wanted to move far away from the big cloud of smoke

6. had to get up and lean against a wall to "stretch my legs"

7. thought about ways the Target Center could limit the amount of alcohol sold to some of these obnoxious drinkers, and worried about the drive home

8. was a little anxious that the dancing girls might flip over the railing, get seriously hurt and maybe interrupt the show

9. sorta glad there wasn't a 2nd encore as I was just "so darn tired"

10. first thing I did once I got home after checking how my kid did was wash my hands.

-a little note to the woman who is entrusting me to drive the three teens to culture camp. I know it might be weird that I answered the phone after my two martinis, in a bar ... I mean, seriously it's been over 3 years since I've been in a bar with martinis and yet the first time we ever talk in person there I was in a loud bar with martinis ... but I thought you were the radio station guys calling to say I won me some tickets.

-a little note to my daughter. 6:30 a.m. is a lot too early, especially this morning.

-a little parenting advice to you bloglanders ... if you are going to pull your 3 yr old into your bed in the crazy hopes she'll "fall back asleep", it behooves you to make sure her/his toenails are clipped first.

You don't know how it feels

to be me .....
and to be trying to concentrate on work all the while being very excited about going out tonight. So lets get to the point ... let's roll another ummmm photo out


Tonight I go to my first non-pretty pony, non-elmo ... LIVE SHOW since the arrival of Lucille ... Tom Petty's a pretty good place to start don't you think????
Another day we'll get back to posting about Lucy (who admittedly is a little cuter then Tom)

Monster update

Things are getting better in casa de scary. I have stripped Lucy's room of all things with eyes that she can see from her bed. This includes a kitty cat mosaic, a fish mosaic and a lion tapestry rug. Also removed, everything from the top of the dresser and everything from the little shelf. Covered up is the wall sconce that casts a scary shadow. Turned on: two night lights. The original "go down" is a little sad and involves a lot of hugs and kisses but she hasn't had a middle of the night alert festival in a few days (knocking wood). We ARE back to waking up at 6:30 but hey ... it works during the weekdays.

A vacation ...

1. 4ish days at a lake cabin

2. about 4 naps

3. at least 4 mornings sleeping past 7

4. one morning sleeping until 9:30

5. swimming in three lakes

6. lots of casual relaxed breakfasts together

7. pj's all day

8. fresh fruit every day

9. lots of time together

10. barely thinking about work

.... such a great week off ... and the best thing? I work next week and then I have another week off!!!!

A sisterhood of sorts ...

It's a love hate relationship. The cat, the kid ... The kid loves the cat the cat hates the kid, the cat loves the kid the kid hates the cat. These two finally connected tonight they watched the Berenstein Bears together and had a little cracker snack. Cute stuff.

MONSTERS

Well our vacation is officially over. I mean, thankfully I didn't have to go to work. I did, however wake up with a scared Lucy who STAYED AWAKE FROM 12:30 AM UNTIL 3:30ISH AM. I have been traumatized. Seriously. These things exhaust me, bring me to the edge of sane parenthood and make me question everything about parenting, not to mention they bring me nearly to the end of my patience rope. Last night I almost was as scary as the monster aka "do do". Tonight the fears started the minute she got into bed and I had to coach myself inside of my head to be the parent, to be the comforter and the rational one. I stayed strong about her having to stay in her bed but I tried to do everything else to make her feel safe. I had one little snap where I said sort of huffily "well if you had your eyes closed you wouldn't see scary things" ... yeah, not really the kinda help a three year old needs mom. Please send good safe sleep vibes to Lucy and please send me rational and loving parenting vibes.

We're Baaaaccccckkkk...

We just got back from a really wonderful summer vacation. We spent Sat- today with the boys at their family cabin in northern Minnesota. We had a blast. Weather was great we got to do a lot of swimming and Lucy and I found our new favorite state park (sorry Mille Lacs Kathio ...) Itasca. We swam at the very beginning of the mighty Mississippi. Amazing. Lucy slept great, never waking before 7:30 in the morning. I napped with her two of the days. It was a great time together.

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Adios Amigos

We're off on vacation! We are leaving soon to spend 5 days lounging (chasing), napping (chasing), drinking margaritas (juice boxes) and sleeping in (until at least 6:30) with the boys and their momma at their family cabin. See ya all Wednesday or Thursday.

Lil' Miss Cute this morning

Do you all see why it's hard for me to go to work each day?

Three years ago ... The referral story

Many of you are all too aware of Lucy's referral story but for you newbies I must must retell. Three years ago at around 11 am I found myself sitting in the Children's Home foyer with my Ethiopia specialist watching her go through my dossier documents. She made sure all my things were in order and then clarified that I was indeed willing to accept a referral during court closure. I said YES I will. As I got up to walk away she said something like "I am not sure if there is anything upstairs or not". I didn't think much of it. I drove back to Minneapolis and gathered my co-workers Mel and Risa (Mel, who would travel with me and who would later travel to get her own son) to go out for a celebratory lunch. Around 11:45 while waiting for our food, my phone rang. I saw the "651" area code and became irritated. You see, while I was officially "waiting" for a referral I hadn't yet become excited about that possibility ... I was thinking, "shoot, must be something missing from the dossier".

I answered the phone. It was my social worker from CHSFS. She said "Is this a good time?". I was like sure. She said "I have a referral for a little girl". My heart stopped. She said "blah de blah de blah de blah" I was like "huh?". Social worker "blah ... 2 months old ... de blah ... foot deformity de blah de bla ... do you want to look at the referral?" Me: "yes".

I couldn't eat. I raced back to the office. Our internet was having problems. What the he**? We got it working, sort of. Refreshed refreshed refreshed ... no email. Call back "where's my baby?" Finally it comes. Slowly, slowly the file starts to open ... painfully slow.... the photo is ginormous ... I see some hair, a forehead an eye ... the phone rings. It's a teacher from my agency, she's at my client's house, the kids have been left alone, I must come out there. Sh** ... I tear myself away from the computer, leaving Mel in charge of getting it open and printing the photo. I go to my clients ... wait for the police to come, perform bad social work (I was a little distracted). Race back to the office. Mel has printed the photo larger then life because we couldn't figure out the file. So we tape her together, she takes about 8 pieces of paper ... and when we are finished I am running around with the huge poster of a babies upper torso. Hysterical.

I couldn't believe I got a referral in 45 minutes. I couldn't believe it was a girl. When I applied you could choose gender. I remained open to gender. First I thought the surprise would be nice and 2nd I wanted a kid ... and didn't need a girl vs boy. Generally speaking being open to gender means you get a boy. Lucy's early wardrobe might indicate that I assumed she'd be a boy.

I was floating for weeks. So excited, so in love ... so ready to go get her. I memorized ever stinking detail of those photos.

Good night ...

some napping shots from the weekend ...

A Haircut

I took Lucy in for her (3??) haircut. It's been a long time. Mostly I've been trimming the ends every time I have it in a lot of small twists. With all the swimming we've been doing I figured it would be nice to just get a little more cut off. A real lazy part of me wanted to have it done so that I didn't have to be the one to take her last style down and wash, comb etc. We went to Hayat Beauty in Minneapolis. I've been eyeing that place for awhile, it's run by an Ethiopian woman. We had a great experience there. She was very gentle with Lucy (no crying) but quick. The hair cut also look great and the stylist put it back up in pigtail/braids to keep it neat.

A Great Day ...

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My fishy

Here are some awesome shots that Mel got of Lucy swimming at the picnic pool party last weekend. Lucy is fearless in the water and loving the freedom of floating.