Mothering

Being responsible for the living and well-being of someone besides yourself can be beautiful, tiring, rewarding and at times horribly frightening.

I don't mean to sound dramatic but sitting in a tent on Saturday night in a nasty storm second guessing my every decision had me facing the extreme seriousness of being completely responsible for someone else's life.

As we headed into Saturday evening I knew that there were storms coming. I knew they could be pretty bad. After talking to Mel (in the other tent) we decided to stick it out because we were too dang tired from the storms followed by an early wake up the previous night.  I thought if I drove home to avoid another storm, we'd probably get injured when I fell asleep at the wheel.  No, get some sleep and drive home in the morning, who cares if the tent gets wet again.

I laid my head down Saturday night, and it was calm outside and SO HOT and muggy.  The next thing I knew I was startled awake by a loud clap of thunder. BOOOOOOM.  I sat up and zipped up the tent windows.  Then suddenly the tent kinda collapsed on itself, pushing into my back and there was this strange quiet.  I pushed the tent back up.  A deluge of rain started.  Lightening was all around us, I couldn't even distinguish space between the lightening and the following thunder.  I propped myself over Lucy (who slept through this) and turned on my cell phone.   Got a text from Diane.  

I had the sickest feeling in my stomach.  Here was Lucy, sleeping, trusting in a tent with lightening crashing all around.  I debated. I texted.  Finally I prepped the tent and faster then I ever could have imagined I could do I scooped her up, and jumped in our car.  Mel did the same from her tent to her car.  Cradling a now awake Lucy and avoiding touching the sides of the car I told her that we were seeking shelter from the lightening.   I rubbed her arm, she rubbed my cheek.  We talked about shadows.  I breathed a sigh of relief. 

When the lightening died down I buckled Lucy in her carseat and Mel and I in the middle of the night packed up our tents and sleeping bags, threw them in the cars and caravaned home.

I stayed awake the whole time. 
I think next time I am hiring a decision maker, to make the big decisions for me.  Take some of the pressure off.