I have now had a year and a half to practice being a single mom. I am getting better at it. I would say I am getting better at asking for help! Frankly though, sometimes if help is not right there right now, you still have to go it alone no matter how big your support system is. I thought I would do a little list of the little things (and big things) that make single parenting hard:
1. Showering. With the kid or not at all.
2. Sleeping. Not much thanks.
3. Cooking. Cheerios have a lot of whole grain goodness.
4. Grocery shopping. From parking lot to check out in 90 seconds and 3 tantrums.
5. Mowing (see photo)
6. Other lawn work. Droughts have their good points.
7. Shoveling. (thank goodness for post bedtime street lights)
8. Finances. OUCH ...
9. Beer. Would love some thanks.
10. Friends. Thank goodness I have friends that enjoy hanging out with me and Lucy and don't roll their eyes when my evenings end at 8 ... or who don't mind my kid sleeping on their sofa while we watch movies and have some wine.
11. Bathroom time. When does one get to be alone ever?????
12. Sick days. All on me and my flexible place of employment. We've used a lot!
The great things about being a mom definately make all these little hard things totally worth it. It's a challenge but you gotta love a challenge. I would do it all over again and I want to do it all over agin ... just gotta fix number 8. Then I am on!
6 comments:
Oh how I feel you on #11. (And many of your other points. And I have a husband. Granted sometimes he's more like another child, but I digress...)
We have a tiny bathroom (to match the rest of our tiny condo). And yet every time nature calls, I am joined by two small children and one not so small dog.
It really does take a village. I'm increasingly serious about starting up my very own commune.
I am just starting the process of adoption as a single woman and I have been following your blog. Today's entry gave me some insight of what I have to look forward to! I am most concerned about the finances part and then being exhausted without having a support system in place (yet). Thanks for the posting!!! :-)
Feel free to check out my blog.
mommyin2008.blogspot.com
You are awesome! Keep up the hard work (as if you have a choice)!
Stacey:
What in the world do you have on your back?? Looks much too heavy! And, I do not mean the beautiful child, I mean the contraption she is sitting in! lol
As one single mom ethio-adoptive mama to another- rock on, girlfriend, you are doing great!!!!
PS: i sooo get you on sooo much of that list, but must say that one of my joys is bathing WITH Miss Malía :)
Blessings,
Malía's Mama
http://www.toadfire.com/blog_full.jsp?blogID=3152
Stacy, you're amazing. And you still have your sense of humor through it all!
I became a parent at the age of (barely) 20 and had a baby who slept in whopping 15 minute stretches for 8 months. My then husband worked out of town all week, every week. I seriously thought I was going to die. I remember when she was about two-and-a-half feeling that "ah, she's finally growing up" relief. It was much, much harder than when I actually was a single parent to a 3-year-old and a 9-year-old when I was in engineering school, probably because they were older and they spent time with their dad every week. The loss of sleep is the worst -- I think it amplifies the difficulty of everything else. Not a day goes by when I'm not grateful that Hayat is a sleeper. We may get the non-sleeping variety next time around, so I'm trying hard to psyche myself up.
I think you're doing so great -- How I wish I lived closer so I could help out.
Stacy:
You are brilliant! I need say no more :)
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