Friday, July 10, 2009

Big Hair Big Bed

Lucy finally got her big big big girl bed today. I have been cruising craigslist for months now, enlisting my parents for help obtaining bed and finally one came through! It's a double bed and we still need a mattress but we punted with all the winter comforters piled on top of one another. Lucy is thrilled. I snuck this photo after she went to bed tonight.


Lucy's hair is getting so long. I try to keep it healthy by not overwashing it but apparantly when one has long thick hair, kept in ponytails/braids etc it can get a little stanky after days of swimming. I will have to wash it more during the summer. We are leaving it down this weekend for a little breather. When I pour water over her head the hair goes down to the middle of her back. It's just so so beautiful.




Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Back at it ...

Long weekends are such a treat. We try not to waste a minute. This weekend was no exception. We had a super fun four day weekend. In addition to having a bbq and going to see fireworks on the 4th of July we: Went fishing with grandma and grandpa.

Went to the zoo with Mel and Morgan.

and of course danced and goofed off at home!
It was fun.



Sunday, July 5, 2009

4th of July

On July 4th 2009 the rain ended JUST in time to towel dry the chairs and have our BBQ

After the BBQ and a quick swim we put on our bug sleeves and walked to Powderhorn (Cathy) Park for the neighborhood fireworks.

Our "spot" is on quite an incline. It was a struggle to not slide down the slippery blanket.


Betsy and Ivy joined us. It was fun to see Ivy experience her first 4th of July.



Lucy was a little miffed that we wouldn't let her carry Morgan around in the back pack.


some glow stick twirling



how fun that Audrey and her family were sitting just up the hill from us!



Ivy was captivated by the fireworks.


and so was her mommy


Lucy snuggled with auntie Jen and Mel and Morgan snuggled.
Lucy did great! It was nice to have a good listener who sat with her own group this year. We got home after 10:30 and she went right to bed and slept until 9 the next morning!!!! That was an unexpected treat.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Warning

Going to talk about the good, the bad, the ugly. A little parenting heads-up (as applies to me anyways):

I was thinking about a couple of families who recently made it through court. These families are amazing and I LOVE reading their thoughtful bloggy blogs and took to getting anxious for them to get referrals, court dates and PASS court. In fact when I read the news about one of them passing court today on mobile facebook both me and my mother got choked up about it. My parents, Lucy and I were on our way to a little fishing/boating trip and yeah my mom and I were cheering and tearing up and my dad was shaking his head and Lucy was shouting at us to look at her.

I never really had a wait for referral (45 minutes), and back then had no idea about the court process or when court was so I found out I passed court when I got my travel date. Still, I waited my whole life for a child. I waited anxiously to pass my home study, finish my dossier, get my CIS approval and to travel. I found out Lucy was soooo sick in Ethiopia. I got an update that almost made me pass out, my little 5 month old baby weighed less at 5months then she did when she was referred to me at 2 months old. So yeah, I experienced anxiety, I really thought she was going to die alone in Ethiopia.

As soon as I had her in my arms, got her visa and successfully passed immigration in DC I took a deep breath, had a diet coke and declared in my naive little head that "the worst is over now".

Aside from Lucys 100% effort in every sickness she got, it was true ... babyhood (despite the lack of sleep) was a dream. I loved it. Going back to work pained me, still does but Lucy was easy. Yup, I thought ... easy.

All of a sudden she hit 20ish months and all hell broke Lucy. Suddenly I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PARENT!!! Ironically my job as a social worker focuses on parenting education. Each day I reluctantly dragged my butt to work and laughed inside my head as I home-visited offering parenting advice. Then I would go home and stare at my little toddler, dumbfounded, in disbelief. MY child was systematically disabling any sense of security I had in my ability to parent her. First the eating, then the sleeping, then the illnesses, the pinching, hitting, biting, screaming, ... ugggh

So here's my warning to you (as I experience it):
When your children are home, and they are settled into your home and lives expect that all of your emotions will be greatly amplified.

1. They will step as close to every ledge, street, steps as possible. If your child is like mine you will soon learn to NOT lunge toward them to save them as it will only cause them to independently jerk back and fall off the ledge, into the street or down the steps and they will look at you like you just pushed them.

2. They will LOVE you so much that they seem to HATE you at times. Such will be the level of trust and the deepness of the relationship you will develop. Good luck not letting this sink your heart every time as you ponder attachment, mental illness ...

3. You will spend a month looking forward to a night away (thanks mom and dad). The chance to sleep in (don't get a puppy), relax, listen to music with swear words ... ahhhh. Then you will find yourself folding their little clothes, vacuuming their room and MISSING them.

4. The doubts. OH THE DOUBTS. Wait until the doubts come. Did I do that right? Am I doing this right? Is this the right choice? What daycare? What school? TV? No TV? Pizza two nights in a row? Time outs? Time ins? Yelling? Food as reward? ugggghhhh

5. Then there is this one. Work hard doing the daily day to day. Exhausted. Get through the day, bedtime ... all of a sudden it occurs to you ... gawwwhhh she's 4. What am I giving her? How am I helping her grow as a girl? As a black girl? As an adopted girl? As a black girl with a white mom? As a child of a single mom? As a child in the world? I mean there are so so many levels and this one is hard because, I don't' think those thoughts left my consciousness for at least the first year. I remember being aware and purposeful a lot of the time. These days ... these days are harder but but in a little over a year I am sending her off to public school and I need to re-focus and give her tools. I imagine a lot of people don't think they'll actually FORGET for a time who they are parenting.

6. There will be a time when you know that they need something that you will be unable to give them. This one stinks.

7. It is astonishing how quickly a little hug, kiss, smile, laugh can undo an entire days worth of stress.

8. You will not know when that last time they fall asleep in your arms will be. This makes me cry. I rocked her to sleep until she was almost two, and occasionally (very occasionally) we'll both be in a place where we need to rock. Each time, I think... maybe this is the last time. Don't be in such a hurry for them to give up rocking to sleep.

9. They will remember and repeat swear words at a much greater rate then any other word. Consider yourself warned.

10. They will make you laugh with intensity, cry with intensity, and ache.

11. News stories about child abuse, kids dying, hunger literally SMACK you in the face, squeezing the breath out of you.

and finally .. at 10:45 on a Friday night you'll find yourself too tired to finish your blog post.
Congratulations on all the new families. I can't wait until you hold and rock your children. I can't wait until you are busy finding the new balance in your lives!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

1st Annual MN-WI-IL Ethio-Adopt Family Camping Extravaganza

First a disclaimer: the photos are out of whack (order) and I am outta energy so I present the 1st Annual MN-WI-IL Ethio-Adopt Family Camping Extravaganza in much the chaotic beauty it was in real life.

Twas a weekend in the HEAT of July that several families did decide to have a casual weekend of camping together at some state park in Wisconsin (Kegonsa something). For our group it took many many hours of driving and whining to arrive at our campsite. It was totally worth it!

We had about an hour (probably less) of rain/thunder/lightening on Saturday evening. Just had time to participate in the smore recipe competition. This year it was won by Kelli and family. Next year, I shall perfect my recipe, buy the right cookies and I will WIN that darn contest. I also will try more then two smores.

Here on Saturday a fledgling of some sort got the boot from the nest only to find himself in the most unfortunate of circumstances: a campsite FULL of curious, loud children. The poor bird couldn't fly away even given all the incentives.
Later that same day Lucy, Elijah and Izzy kicked it with Pocket Edward (not visible) I managed to capture the one split second that they all layed there.

Also on Saturday Lucy demonstrated the ability to just sit there for a minute.


Here I am super-star babysitter getting baby Og to sleep at the playground. Enjoying having an excuse to just sit there while my child dangled helplessly from the monkey bars.



We were fortunate to have Meghan's three big kids in attendance as they graciously provided lots of rides, participated in chasing and all around nicely accepted copious amounts of attention and flirting from one Miss Lucy.


we apologize to the future users of sites 31-32 for the ankle twisting hole, it was a group effort.


Lucy's baby came camping too ... always turn the battery operated babies off before getting into a dark tent in the woods ... freak-me-the-he**-out


thank heavens we managed to squeeze in the hula-hoops. seriously hours of entertainment


um delicious

Lucy is overwhelmingly in love with baby Og

pancake breakfast for all provided by Diane and her boys.


sooooo sleepy


an announcement. Lucy and Wendim are engaged.



children of the woods

um yum


Thursday, June 25, 2009

The party before the party ...

Isaac broke his arm (not while I was babysitting him) and got a new "swim cast"

Morgan is in love with Maia

The hula hoops are always a hit


Lucy and Maia put on a little rock show




I like this idea of turning babysitting into a big ole party. I didn't get any photos of the pool part because it was dangerous enough when both of my hands were free. Like Micheal J. Fox said: "basically the first several years of life is like suicide watch" regarding parenting. Was he ever right!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tonight ...


Tonight was one of those nights we needed after a hectic, tiring weekend and a long work-week before that. I picked Lucy up from school and we basically went from car to house to swimsuit to pool only stopping for one (forced) cup of water to drink.


We had fun swimming in our pool for over an hour. I floated around enjoying the cool water and watching Lucy do all sorts of fancy tricks in the pool. Just me and Lucy, no phone, no neighbors no no one during that time. I made dinner and Lucy had a couple minor (for her) melt-downs but pulled herself out and declared that she was going to "totally try that stuff you're making momma, and ask for more just like a grown up". To my surprise and delight she followed through with her own plan and gobbled down dinner like there was no tomorrow.


We then played for awhile, Lucy dancing and building a living room obstacle course and me being the very engaged spectator (at her beck and call ... me being undistracted definitely limits her frustrations).


At 7pm I cut up almost half a cantaloupe and set Lucy up on the sofa watching a movie while I checked email. At 7:15 the cantaloupe was all gone and Lucy was sound asleep. Given the half a cantaloupe and the pre-potty fall asleep I decided to use some remaining pull-ups that are stashed in her closet and changed her into them while she was sleeping ... she didn't even stir. Crazy!


I love evenings like that, the early slumber was a bonus but tonight it would have been just dandy if she stayed up until 8 pm and we did our bedtime routine together. Lucy was a sweet heart tonight and I was SOOOOOO HAPPY to have her all to myself. We definitely have to plan more mommy/daughter nights.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Mehaber and Father's Day

This weekend was the annual Ethiopian Kids Community summer Mehaber (picnic). The first stop of any Ethiopian kids picnic is of course, the TATTOOS ... Lucy needed some ink.


Lucy and Morgan showing solidarity during a kids game.



Nora joined us in some dancing during the opening ceremony.



The kids have some rhythm.



Stroller parking lot.

Jumping off lunch.


A waiting single momma with her niece and nephew. OHHH I hope that she has her baby home next year.



2/3 of the Bemidji sisters


a goofball in the elevator

Nora the super model. Her mom claims that she has had no professional portraits.


but really, look at her, clearly senior portrait poses

Nora tilt your head slightly toward the right and look up a little. Now we just need to add the fuzzy dreamy look ...


Lucy slept in the closet until 3am when she bounced into bed with mommy.


from the hotel straight to grandpas for father's day boat ride and fishing









she had to swim to shore we ran out of gas.
actually lucy and grandma went swimming at the beach while momma and grandpa landed the boat.







sand castles with grandpa




sleeping off the weekend. whew.