weekend getaway

Last weekend we escaped the hustle of city life and went to southern Minnesota for some small town relaxing. One of our favorite people in the world Sara invited us to her family's house. We had such fun in the outdoors. We spent some time swimming in a big outdoor pool where Lucy demonstrated her braveness by jumping off the edge into momma's arms. She also did a short back float, lots of kicking, some underwater head dips and participated in a couple wet rounds of ring around the rosie. We dried off and headed to a park by a lake for playing and picnic dinner. Lucy played and played and played. The park was old-school with a merry go round and the old school animal swings (see photos). Lucy fell off the beaver shortly after I snapped the photos. Falling doesn't deter her from re-endangering her self on some other precarious playground equipment. At the end of all that swimming and playing guess who had a hard time falling asleep???? Yup, Lucy.... even my super example of falling asleep with her squirming away did not seem to help encourage slumber in my little 2 year old and once she did fall asleep she was raring to go once again at six in the morning. What's up with that?

we went to the zoo zoo zoo

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When good treats go bad ...

LOVING IT ....

GOING ....

GOING ....

GOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE .....

2 years ago ... and now

Hard to believe that 2 years ago I was pretty much crazy. I had a referral for a beautiful baby girl. I was so floored that I had a daughter. I was certain I would get a referral for a boy. I was now free to buy clothes (I knew the age and gender). Waiting was so hard. I waited from July 8th until October 22 to travel. Lucy got sick during this time and lost weight from 2 months old to 5 months old ... I was pretty scared. Looking at those photos now, I can see the sick in her. I gasped when I read the note from the doctor in the care center ... upon placing Lucy in the hospital: "I hope she makes it".

Well she certainly "made it" and continues to grow and thrive. We've had the best three days. Lucy has been so communicative. It's a lot of fun having a kid who can tell you things ... her new favorite sentence is "No, I don't like that." She says it very clearly. Tonight we went to an ice cream social at a neighborhood park. She was in her element. They had cotton candy, lots of people, a live band and a playground.... she would have been in heaven if I would have let her go into the wading pool. She played hard and had fun (except when the cotton candy ran out).

Lucy made it through daycare today with no potty related accidents. Of course she totally peed (immediately after she got off the potty chair) in her underwear once we got home. Frustrating ... but it's a combination of her not being all the way ready and her naturally oppositional personality (and age .. bad combination). She'll get it. I think I'll have to break down and buy another pack of diapers before she cracks.

The photos are of Lucy enjoying an apple at the Midtown Global Market.

The Referral

I can't believe I didn't blog about this on the actual anniversary! Well here is the referral story. At my agency (unless you are going through Waiting Child) you aren't ready for referral until your dossier is completed and turned in. I worked on the dossier over the 4th of July holiday and turned it in around 11:00 Friday morning July 8, 2005. I drove back to Minneapolis (about 8 minutes) got two coworkers Risa and Mel and headed out to lunch at Green Mill. At about 11:45 a.m. as we were waiting for our food to be delivered, my phone rang. I answered and it was my social worker from my agency. I was annoyed at first because I was sure that there was some technical problem with my dossier and I was SO DONE with paperwork. She ask if this was a "good time to talk", I said sure... She said "I am calling with a referral." I almost passed out. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS WAS HAPPENING. It had only been 45 freaking minutes. Deep breaths. She then said, "you indicated on your paperwork that you were open to limb deformities." I said "yeeesssss" she told me about Lucy's foot. I said I was interested in looking at the referral. Mel and Risa figured out what was going on and they were practically jumping across the table. Social worker said that the baby was beautiful, her name Eskedar, two months old. I could not eat a bite. I was so so freaking excited. We left the restaurant and raced back to work where I sat at the computer waiting for the referral info to come. OF COURSE we had internet problems. Finally it came through ... we were trying to open the photo .. it came so huge that we could only see about one facial feature in each screen .. but each facial feature was just so beautiful. Then I get a call. A teacher was on a home visit at one of my clients houses and there was a crisis. I had to leave before I could see the whole photo. I was sitting outside her house with all of her kids and the police absolutely unfocused on what was going on. I was a BAD BAD SOCIAL WORKER. Finally we got it sorted out and I raced back. And there she was .. printed out and taped together on six sheets of paper, larger then life ... so so beautiful. The rest is history .... oddly enough I was at that same client's house when I got the travel call. Here are the photos I received from Ethiopia ... starting with the referral photos.

Hair

Hair care comes up a lot in our Ethiopian adoption groups and forums. Discussions about products, "no poo" etc happen almost on a weekly basis. We've discovered that products and routines that work for one kids hair don't work for another. After a year and a half with Lucy I have found some products that really work for her hair (Carol's Daughter, straight olive oil) and others that don't (anything from Target). I have also found that by rarely washing her hair (just using conditioner) it stays in better condition. I have also become better at different styles (twists, ponies, box braids). I really LOVE just combing it out and leaving it loose and beautiful .. but this style quickly dissolves into something that looks disheveled when really it takes more time then the other styles. Lucy is NO help. She is typical of a two year old and can not stand the idea of sitting still for very long. Her complaining and twisting combined with my lack of skill and my lack of desire to force her to sit usually means we get two and sometimes four puffs in her hair before total meltdown. I love her hair. I love that it's tight curly and thick. I think it's beautiful. Before I was even considering adoption a friend of mine was complaining about white people adopting black children and completely messing up their hair (a pet peeve). This conversation came back to me the second I considered Ethiopian adoption. "I won't be that white person who messes up her daughter's hair" I thought. Well ... I say, occasionally I do mess it up, sometimes she goes out and it's all over the place and occasionally it gets a little dry. I think this is more about lack of time and lack of cooperation. Mostly we have our morning ritual and her hair looks fine. I am learning and she is becoming more tolerant. Someone on the adoption forum posted a link to an op-ed about why all of this is so important. Click HERE for the article.

Lucy had an idea ...

We were a little bored this evening. It's about 900 degrees outside and even our little wading pool is too hot (hotter then the bathtub). Going to the park was out of the question. I was too lazy to go to a beach (it was after 6pm). What to do what to do? I sat at the computer to see if there was any outdoor live music anywhere. I said to Lucy "I am looking for something to do." She ran up to me and said "ducks ducks eat eat" while motioning to her mouth. I said "you want to go feed the ducks?" and she said "yes" and ran to the kitchen shouting "bread bread". I was so amazed. It's been at least 2 months since we've fed ducks. I never mention it ... we've had no recent duck encounters. She totally remembered from a long time ago .. and she wanted to do it. This is such a different stage for her. A request. Of course we went in the 900 degree day to feed the ducks (Lucy ate about 3 brat buns ... the ducks didn't get much). It was so fun. We saw baby ducks. Lucy had a blast. I love that girl.

Long weekend!!!!

Long holiday weekends are great. What fun to realize that it's only SATURDAY. Ahhh yes, I was made to be a stay-at-home mom. We've had fun just hanging in our little corner of the world. We really partied on July 4th. We went to a little parade in St. Paul ... it wasn't exciting but we got a free freezie pop. We went to a BBQ at Lucy's friend's house (Bennett .. her roommate in Ethiopia and one of her possible future husbands). We stayed up LATE and watched fireworks. True to form, Lucy LOVED the fireworks. It took a few minutes for her to stop shaking from the noise but once she was used to it, she had fun naming the colors of the "hot" fireworks and asking for more more more. Have to say (as you'll see in one of the photos) that Lucy is turning into a real drama queen. Sometimes even I don't know if the tears are real or fake. She definately puts on a show for grandpa ...

Teamwork

I have been working hard trying to live on a budget. I haven't even been to TARGET lately! I have been skipping coffee shops ... babysitting for extra money in my spare time etc. I figure it's time that Lucy steps up to the plate and contributes to the slimmed down budget plan so I sent her to daycare in underwear today. I don't think it will go well. As I was leaving daycare she was peeing in her first pair of underwear. Hmmmm. I think she has the ability I believe she lacks the desire. We'll see what happens. Either way ... I saved a diaper today. Let's all send Lucy some positive potty vibes during this holiday weekend. We'll be working hard.

OH and if Libby can get pardoned (and you know the full pardon is likely)... well then I suppose we can give Lucy a break for peeing in her panties right?

Lucy has a little foot.

We are getting close to our referral call anniversary. I remember the call so well and will likely blog about it in detail on the date. For now ... I will say that my SW said "but ..." and went on to say something about a foot deformity. I was sort of basking in the surprise of the phone call (45 minutes after i turned in my dossier ... story later) so I only partially listened to her describe the foot of what was probably my new 2 month old daughter. Of course I accepted the referral and brought home my perfect daughter Lucy 3 1/2 months alter. Lucy has a "congenital amputation" of one of her feet. Her foot is very small (smaller then a newborn) and her toes are not fully formed. Despite this, she walked within normal range, climbs fast enough to give me a heart attack at least 100 times a day and basically can do everything but wear the shoes that she has developed quite a fetish for. ... that's ok Lucy... momma has things she wants but can't wear either. The only "problem" with her foot at this time is the HIGH price of the insert that goes in her shoe so she can wear shoes without them spinning around and so that she doesn't have to overcompensate too much and mess up her leg muscles/bones. This insert for some reason is not paid for by insurance and my kids feet are growing fast. Normally no one even notices ... but last summer and this summer we've spent a lot of time barefoot ... sandels don't work on her and her hightops are just too hot. Kids are the ones who notice and ask questions. I love that they are just so open and inquisitive. Lucy gets to experience a very safe interaction when the kids ask about her foot and I explain about how she was born with her foot like that ... The kids just move right on ... and Lucy seems to love the attention (for now). Today a little girl was swimming with us in the lake. Lucy was kicking away in the water trying to swim when the girl asked about her feet. I explained and the girl wanted to look at her feet closer and closer. Lucy got tired of being still and yells "swim feet swimm feet" and starts paddling her hands and kicking those feet ... the little girl goes "I think that little foot works just fine!" and I said "ME TOO" and Lucy said "Mine foot, mine foot, not yours mine foot ... NO go in, no no .. mine water, Lucy swim, mine lake" I don't think anything is going to stop Lucy from doing what she wants ... Nope. It's most definately her world right now.

photos for now

I am sick and have no energy to write but thought I'd post some photos. Write later. Stacy

Single mom stuff ...

I have now had a year and a half to practice being a single mom. I am getting better at it. I would say I am getting better at asking for help! Frankly though, sometimes if help is not right there right now, you still have to go it alone no matter how big your support system is. I thought I would do a little list of the little things (and big things) that make single parenting hard:

1. Showering. With the kid or not at all.
2. Sleeping. Not much thanks.
3. Cooking. Cheerios have a lot of whole grain goodness.
4. Grocery shopping. From parking lot to check out in 90 seconds and 3 tantrums.
5. Mowing (see photo)
6. Other lawn work. Droughts have their good points.
7. Shoveling. (thank goodness for post bedtime street lights)
8. Finances. OUCH ...
9. Beer. Would love some thanks.
10. Friends. Thank goodness I have friends that enjoy hanging out with me and Lucy and don't roll their eyes when my evenings end at 8 ... or who don't mind my kid sleeping on their sofa while we watch movies and have some wine.
11. Bathroom time. When does one get to be alone ever?????
12. Sick days. All on me and my flexible place of employment. We've used a lot!


The great things about being a mom definately make all these little hard things totally worth it. It's a challenge but you gotta love a challenge. I would do it all over again and I want to do it all over agin ... just gotta fix number 8. Then I am on!

My girl

To those of you who know Lucy from afar I have to try to explain in words and photos ... She's an amazing person. I know she's beautiful and she's hilarious but there is SOMETHING about her. It's been that way since I took her home and she wasn't doing much ... people would still catch her eyes, she would stare into them and they would catch their breath. I hope and pray that Lucy grows up and uses this gift for good. I am afraid every day that something will happen that will make her loose her sparkle. It's a dance to protect her and still let her fly. She needs to explore and she needs to find out for herself what her limits are but I really want to keep her close and maintain her bubble of perfection. I don't want her to find out the dirty little secret that people can be mean and people can hurt and the world is not as safe as she believes. I shudder because I know what it will look like when she finds out, I have seen that look in her eyes: I have walked in and seen her get pushed down by a kid at daycare and the SHOCK in her eyes is heartbreaking (even though she's caused that look in other kids many many times). Arrrggghhhhh ... maybe we will move to an island of perfection ... who wants to come along???

I slept until 9:15 a.m.

First I woke up at 6 a.m. ... I rolled over and remembered that my child was at her grandparents and I could relax and REALLY fall back asleep knowing that I wouldn't be waking up any second with Lucy. OHHHHH did I fall back asleep ... I fell back asleep for more then three hours. I woke up startled. Then I smiled. Then I stretched. Then I got up. I made coffee. I went to the bathroom BY MYSELF. I made my cup of coffee. I sat on the sofa. I never once had to warn anyone that the coffee was HOT. I drank my coffee. I got dressed. I cleaned out Lucy's swimming pool. I started missing Lucy. I called my dad. They came 30 minutes later. We were happy.

Genius toddler spends first night away from mom in 20 months

I am going to try not to "overblog" this but had to share that tonight will be our first night away from each other since October 24th 2005. Tomorrow morning, the first face Lucy will see with be grandpas. It's highly likely he'll be up about 2 hours before she wakes up, and he'll be staring into the pack and play willing her to wake up so he has someone to talk to. She'll be fine. I'll be fine sleeping past 6am for the first time in like forever. I am a little anxious and I have a feeling she is getting a taste of the high life with grandma and grandpa catering to her every whim and demand. I spent 2 hours outside in the front yard making it look "less crappy" ... and anyone who stopped by and saw the front yard would have a hard time believing that anyone just spent two hours deforesting. It was that bad (I haven't been without child in my house since October 24 2005). I am posting some photos. Notice the one of the train track, she built that herself ... she's probably going to be an engineer.

Happy Girl!

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Ethiopian ABC Book ...

Check it out ... great gift for your Ethiopian kids and/or family members.

http://www.eisforethiopia.com

Wish I could have recorded this wake up call ...

I really wish I could tape off the baby monitor. I've woken up to chatter, cries, and occasionally calling the kittie or Sassy ... for awhile I would wake up to her saying "no no no no no HOT" .... This morning topped it all ... I woke up to Lucy singing "you are my sunshine", what a gift on a Monday morning. LOVED IT!!!!

She loves babies ...

On Friday Lucy had two baby visitors. I was babysitting Linnea (9 months) and Mel brought Morgan (9 months) over. Lucy had a blast. She really loves babies. All of the kids were in the pool. Little Linnea was the baby trouble maker, basically steam rolling over anyone between her and her destination. She almost drowned baby Morgan. In the end, somehow ... we got all three kids down for a nap at the same time. Morgan slept on my bed, Lucy slept in her bed and Linnea slept on a blanket in the living room. It was a MIRACLE! Today we celebrated Father's day at grandpas. Yup, we went swimming. We are all about swimming and water play. What are we going to do when it drops below 90? Lucy is changing every day ... it's incredible the way language has taken off... I love those words (most of them).

Swimming

Here are some photos of Lucy having a ball in the pool! She has spent the majority of our evenings in the pool splashing around.

Lucy is less irrational

Lucy is starting to (at times) act like a rational human being. I can (at times) reason with her. This is as surprising to me as it is to her. Often after a tantrum avoided ... we'll just stare at each other "gee whiz, this talking stuff actually works!" I love it when a potentially explosive situation ends peacefully and we both win. Lucy usually wins more because I rarely get gummy bears for holding my mommy's hand ... and it's even more rare when I am offered more goat milk after I eat just 2 more bites of chicken. So maybe we aren't really "talking it out" it's more like she's starting to understand the power of bribery. I love bribes! We just returned home tonight after a long weekend of house/dog/cat sitting ending with a grandfinale of house/dog/cat/and kid sitting. Lucy could not understand why the "owners" of the house would return after 4 days and expect that the toys become "theirs" again ... Lucy had just had 4 days of laying claim to all of those toys. I am so glad to be home. I hope that the nightime cold medicine hits soon and my head will hit my air conditioned cooled pillow and off to slumberland I will go. I am going to go dig for a photo to post ... it's been awhile since the camera has been out and used (what a slacker).

It's a little more then a rumor ...

I have heard it from a reliable source. I am feeling sad. The rumor is that Ethiopia is taking steps to limit singles from adopting from Ethiopia. It's not happening "right now" but neither is another possible adoption for me ... by the time I have the resources the rumor will probably be a well established rule. It's hard to continually get your choices taken away.

Well ... had to get that out. On a non adoption note I discovered today (not a big surprise) that Lucy does not have it in her spirit to be a child model. Let's put it a different way, Lucy is too spirited! I decided to try bringing her to a "photo shoot" for a line of organic baby clothes called "Happy Green Bee" (Carrie Out West .. if you're reading this you might want to google this clothing line ... your little MP would look adorable in these clothes). The deal was you get a free pair of socks, and a 5X7 professional portrait for letting these people dress your kid in adorable clothes and take photos. Lucy was about the most oppositional that she has ever been. We were sitting in a Natural Home store with a bunch of hippies who love nature and have children named "Willow" and "River" and my kiddo is 1. pulling down the backdrop 2. hitting the organic bunny with the natural wood hammer (she wasn't being "gentle" with the bunny) 3. standing up when the photographer layed down 4. sitting down when the photographer stood up and 4. pulling her cute organic shirt up to show off her belly. I will laugh when I get the 5X7 of Lucy.

Maybe one child is enough.

Reviving at the Lake

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