Thursday, June 28, 2007
I have now had a year and a half to practice being a single mom. I am getting better at it. I would say I am getting better at asking for help! Frankly though, sometimes if help is not right there right now, you still have to go it alone no matter how big your support system is. I thought I would do a little list of the little things (and big things) that make single parenting hard:
1. Showering. With the kid or not at all.
2. Sleeping. Not much thanks.
3. Cooking. Cheerios have a lot of whole grain goodness.
4. Grocery shopping. From parking lot to check out in 90 seconds and 3 tantrums.
5. Mowing (see photo)
6. Other lawn work. Droughts have their good points.
7. Shoveling. (thank goodness for post bedtime street lights)
8. Finances. OUCH ...
9. Beer. Would love some thanks.
10. Friends. Thank goodness I have friends that enjoy hanging out with me and Lucy and don't roll their eyes when my evenings end at 8 ... or who don't mind my kid sleeping on their sofa while we watch movies and have some wine.
11. Bathroom time. When does one get to be alone ever?????
12. Sick days. All on me and my flexible place of employment. We've used a lot!
The great things about being a mom definately make all these little hard things totally worth it. It's a challenge but you gotta love a challenge. I would do it all over again and I want to do it all over agin ... just gotta fix number 8. Then I am on!
Monday, June 25, 2007
To those of you who know Lucy from afar I have to try to explain in words and photos ... She's an amazing person. I know she's beautiful and she's hilarious but there is SOMETHING about her. It's been that way since I took her home and she wasn't doing much ... people would still catch her eyes, she would stare into them and they would catch their breath. I hope and pray that Lucy grows up and uses this gift for good. I am afraid every day that something will happen that will make her loose her sparkle. It's a dance to protect her and still let her fly. She needs to explore and she needs to find out for herself what her limits are but I really want to keep her close and maintain her bubble of perfection. I don't want her to find out the dirty little secret that people can be mean and people can hurt and the world is not as safe as she believes. I shudder because I know what it will look like when she finds out, I have seen that look in her eyes: I have walked in and seen her get pushed down by a kid at daycare and the SHOCK in her eyes is heartbreaking (even though she's caused that look in other kids many many times). Arrrggghhhhh ... maybe we will move to an island of perfection ... who wants to come along???
Sunday, June 24, 2007
First I woke up at 6 a.m. ... I rolled over and remembered that my child was at her grandparents and I could relax and REALLY fall back asleep knowing that I wouldn't be waking up any second with Lucy. OHHHHH did I fall back asleep ... I fell back asleep for more then three hours. I woke up startled. Then I smiled. Then I stretched. Then I got up. I made coffee. I went to the bathroom BY MYSELF. I made my cup of coffee. I sat on the sofa. I never once had to warn anyone that the coffee was HOT. I drank my coffee. I got dressed. I cleaned out Lucy's swimming pool. I started missing Lucy. I called my dad. They came 30 minutes later. We were happy.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I am going to try not to "overblog" this but had to share that tonight will be our first night away from each other since October 24th 2005. Tomorrow morning, the first face Lucy will see with be grandpas. It's highly likely he'll be up about 2 hours before she wakes up, and he'll be staring into the pack and play willing her to wake up so he has someone to talk to. She'll be fine. I'll be fine sleeping past 6am for the first time in like forever. I am a little anxious and I have a feeling she is getting a taste of the high life with grandma and grandpa catering to her every whim and demand. I spent 2 hours outside in the front yard making it look "less crappy" ... and anyone who stopped by and saw the front yard would have a hard time believing that anyone just spent two hours deforesting. It was that bad (I haven't been without child in my house since October 24 2005). I am posting some photos. Notice the one of the train track, she built that herself ... she's probably going to be an engineer.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
I really wish I could tape off the baby monitor. I've woken up to chatter, cries, and occasionally calling the kittie or Sassy ... for awhile I would wake up to her saying "no no no no no HOT" .... This morning topped it all ... I woke up to Lucy singing "you are my sunshine", what a gift on a Monday morning. LOVED IT!!!!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
On Friday Lucy had two baby visitors. I was babysitting Linnea (9 months) and Mel brought Morgan (9 months) over. Lucy had a blast. She really loves babies. All of the kids were in the pool. Little Linnea was the baby trouble maker, basically steam rolling over anyone between her and her destination. She almost drowned baby Morgan. In the end, somehow ... we got all three kids down for a nap at the same time. Morgan slept on my bed, Lucy slept in her bed and Linnea slept on a blanket in the living room. It was a MIRACLE! Today we celebrated Father's day at grandpas. Yup, we went swimming. We are all about swimming and water play. What are we going to do when it drops below 90? Lucy is changing every day ... it's incredible the way language has taken off... I love those words (most of them).
Friday, June 15, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Lucy is starting to (at times) act like a rational human being. I can (at times) reason with her. This is as surprising to me as it is to her. Often after a tantrum avoided ... we'll just stare at each other "gee whiz, this talking stuff actually works!" I love it when a potentially explosive situation ends peacefully and we both win. Lucy usually wins more because I rarely get gummy bears for holding my mommy's hand ... and it's even more rare when I am offered more goat milk after I eat just 2 more bites of chicken. So maybe we aren't really "talking it out" it's more like she's starting to understand the power of bribery. I love bribes! We just returned home tonight after a long weekend of house/dog/cat sitting ending with a grandfinale of house/dog/cat/and kid sitting. Lucy could not understand why the "owners" of the house would return after 4 days and expect that the toys become "theirs" again ... Lucy had just had 4 days of laying claim to all of those toys. I am so glad to be home. I hope that the nightime cold medicine hits soon and my head will hit my air conditioned cooled pillow and off to slumberland I will go. I am going to go dig for a photo to post ... it's been awhile since the camera has been out and used (what a slacker).
Thursday, June 7, 2007
I have heard it from a reliable source. I am feeling sad. The rumor is that Ethiopia is taking steps to limit singles from adopting from Ethiopia. It's not happening "right now" but neither is another possible adoption for me ... by the time I have the resources the rumor will probably be a well established rule. It's hard to continually get your choices taken away.
Well ... had to get that out. On a non adoption note I discovered today (not a big surprise) that Lucy does not have it in her spirit to be a child model. Let's put it a different way, Lucy is too spirited! I decided to try bringing her to a "photo shoot" for a line of organic baby clothes called "Happy Green Bee" (Carrie Out West .. if you're reading this you might want to google this clothing line ... your little MP would look adorable in these clothes). The deal was you get a free pair of socks, and a 5X7 professional portrait for letting these people dress your kid in adorable clothes and take photos. Lucy was about the most oppositional that she has ever been. We were sitting in a Natural Home store with a bunch of hippies who love nature and have children named "Willow" and "River" and my kiddo is 1. pulling down the backdrop 2. hitting the organic bunny with the natural wood hammer (she wasn't being "gentle" with the bunny) 3. standing up when the photographer layed down 4. sitting down when the photographer stood up and 4. pulling her cute organic shirt up to show off her belly. I will laugh when I get the 5X7 of Lucy.
Maybe one child is enough.